I remember when I moved to Austin to go to college. I was so captivated by the city, and how different it was than where I came from.
I was from the suburbs south of Houston, and never spent much time in the downtown city atmosphere. In Austin, my campus was smackdab in the middle of downtown.
One of the things that fascinated me most about the city was it’s mantra, “Keep Austin Weird.”
It didn’t take long for me to figure out what they meant by that – it is very much a “walk to the beat of your own drum” type of city. Whoever had coined that phrase picked the perfect representation of the city.
It is very authentic for Austin. And that authenticity resonated with me.
The importance of authenticity
Why is that we can immediately connect with certain places or people, but not others?
Like, why is it that we can go to two similar places or meet two relatively similar people, but only one resonates with us, while the other turns us off?
Obviously, personality differences play a key role in this, but I would argue that more important than personality is authenticity.
As humans, we judge. We judge every single thing about whatever we come into contact with – hence the reason first impressions are so important. It doesn’t matter if it’s a person, an outfit someone is wearing, or the food a server brings us at a restaurant, we judge it.
Part of that judgement process is making a decision about the authenticity of whatever we’re judging. When it comes to people, we are great at knowing if someone is full of crap. And if they are, we have no desire to connect with them. But, if we believe they are “real” (as the kids say), it’s easy to lean in and connect.
With a city we visit or a restaurant we go to, if the vibe or atmosphere doesn’t seem authentic, we have no problem not going back.
And, this doesn’t only apply to people and places. Research shows that authenticity effects things like our buying patterns as well.
Authenticity affects how we connect to everyone and everything in our lives, and that’s why Owning Your Authenticity is the first tenant of living an UNCOMMON Life.
My authenticity story
I make no bones about the fact that I was a walking talking mess of a person for a good majority of my life. I was so insecure and yearning for acceptance that I would turn into whoever I needed to be in order to fit in with whatever crowd I was around.
I was trying to be everything for everyone, but felt like I was nothing to noone. Talk about a lack of congruence (<– fancy word for a disconnection between who you really are, and who you’re actually being).
The last thing I wanted to do was be the “real” me. I mean, who would like that kid? That’s the question I’d ask myself all the time.
That ongoing vicious cycle is what led to my depression in my 20’s. I had lost myself, and didn’t know who the “real” Justin was anymore.
Even when I started my business, I felt the same struggle.
I would get caught up in trying to be what I thought I needed to be, rather than just being me. And every time I fell into that habit, it got me nowhere except feeling poorly about myself.
It wasn’t until I decided that I had nothing to lose, that I decided to be myself and see where that would take me.
And guess what? Yup, you guessed it, that’s when things began to take off. I realized that in order for me to truly help people and for my message to connect, I had to be 100% authentically me!
And that’s how I live my life today. No matter what I’m doing, whether coaching a client, speaking on stage, or even writing this blog, above all else, I’m going to be true to who I am.
How you can be more authentic
- Surround yourself with supportive people:
You’ll hear me preach until the day I die about the importance of our social circles and the company we keep. The people you surround yourself with are a direct reflection of who you believe yourself to be. Insecure people don’t surround themselves with highly confident people, nor do drug addicts surround themselves with a bunch of sober people. We surround ourselves with people that make us feel comfortable. So, in order to ensure that you can show up in an authentic way in your life, surround yourself with people who encourage your to do so.
2. Embrace vulnerability:
Of all the characteristics or traits that I see people hold back on, this may be the biggest. Especially men. But, regardless of your gender, embrace vulnerability in your life will allow you to show up authentically. I get it, we live in a hateful world where people are waiting to tear you down at the first sign of perceived weakness. But, there’s two things you need to know, 1. Those are the people you want to be around anyway, and 2. People who tear others down typically have some deep, unresolved pain that is unresolved, so show them some grace. You do you, and let them do them
3.Increase your awareness:
The biggest key to success in any area of life is awareness. In order to correct a problem, you have to first be aware that there’s a problem that needs to be fixed. The first part of your awareness is knowing who the authentic you is. Take some time to write down what the best, most authentic version of you looks and acts like. The more detailed, the better. The second part of awareness is doing regular check ins to make sure that you are showing up as that version of yourself on a regular basis. Also, to take it a step further, welcome feedback from those around you as another form of authenticity accountability.
Putting it all together
No matter who you are, where you’re from, or what your story is, if you want to live a successful and joyful life, authenticity is going to play a key role in that. Your authentic self is the version you were created to be, and that version can accomplish more than you know. Showing up authentically is a huge key to living an UNCOMMON Life. I’d love for you to comment below with 3 words that describe the authentic you.
