I remember an incident last year, when my then two-year-old daughter, was asking for my attention for Lord knows what.
But, after me telling her, “hold on baby, daddy is trying to finish something on my phone” about ten times, she eventually escalated to the point of acting out right in front of me. She had reached the end of her tiny little rope with the lack of attention she was being shown.
I would say that in my defense, I was working on some business stuff (which is actually true), but that would just be a cop out. The truth is, in that season of me going hard every day to grow my business, my daughter had gotten used to me being there, but not really being there, if you know what I mean.
When I asked her about her behavior, she was sure to let me know, in her unique 2-year-old style of communication, that it was because I was not there and present with her. Admittedly, that was a dad fail that I’m not proud of. But, it was also an eye opening moment that made me more conscious of my level of presence.
That’s what I want to talk to you about today, the last UNCOMMON gift that you should give yourself this year, presence.
The UNCOMMON-ness of presence
In this social media driven society, where research shows that we now have attention spans shorter than freakin’ goldfish (<< yes, you read that correctly! Check it out here ), we get consumed with seemingly every passing distraction.
We live in an age where life is captured through our phones rather than experienced. I literally watched an entire concert on Instagram recently that someone recorded the entire time they were at the show! What the hell has this world come to? SMH!
And because of this insanity, we’re less present than ever before.
It’s no wonder why mental and emotional health are at epidemic levels – it’s damn near impossible to have a real, sustained interaction with someone.
Well, holiday time is no different. In fact, our presence may be worse. Going back to the capturing vs experiencing thing, the holidays have always been a highly captured time of year.
But, each moment that we’re spending behind a screen of any sort for any reason, is time not spent being present with those we love most.
Be present this holiday season
I get it, documenting memories is important. But I think you’ll agree that a few pictures and videos to capture the highlights are sufficient, and that taking pictures of your second Aunt twice removed stuffing her face with her third slice of pie or 57 pictures of each child opening their presents is a bit excessive. (<< you all know the people I’m talking about! And if you don’t, It’s probably you that I’m talking about.)
The essence of life is in relationship and community. Well, those things can only be built when you are intentionally present with others.
Don’t miss that word “intentionally” in the last sentence. Just like with my daughter, there is a difference between being in someone’s presence, and being present!
We’ve got enough people just going through the motions of life. I promise you that if you show up fully engaged and present this holiday season, people are going to take notice. Hell, they may even think you’re weird or that something is wrong with you, because that’s just not the norm in today’s society.
We live in a time where people will literally text each other while they’re sitting in the same freakin’ room! So, by you being present, you will be bucking the status quo. And, not only will it affect those around you, but it will change your heart as well.
So, my challenge to you this holiday season is, put the devices down. Commit to experiencing the holidays this year, rather than capturing them. Lean in to those around you, and give them the gift of experiencing all of you.
Like I said before, life is about building and maintaining significant relationships. But, unfortunately, that in and of itself has become an uncommon thing. So, there could be very few ways that you could demonstrate your UNCOMMON-ness this holiday season, than by giving yourself and those around you that gift of presence.
Be UNCOMMON!
