What do you think of when you hear that word, reckless? I’m willing to bet that your first thought wasn’t anything about parenthood or chasing your dream.. Well, today I want to explain to you how becoming a dad made me reckless, and how that applied to achieving my dreams.
I remember all the nerves, and if I’m being honest, downright fear, that I had about becoming a dad. It wasn’t that I thought I’d be a bad father or anything like that.
I was just worried about not living up to the ridiculously high standard that I had an issue with setting for myself in every area of life.
At that time, I was still heavily influenced and affected by the thoughts and opinions of others. When it came to becoming a dad, it was no different. I tried to figure out how to be the “best dad” according to societal standards.
Not only did I want to be present, engaged, and a role model, I also wanted to be a great provider. How hard could that be, right?
All I had to do was have a good job, be financially responsible, and give my future children a life free from financial concern.
The good news was that I had all the boxes checked. I had the job, had always been good with money, and knew I could provide a stable life for my kids.
So, that was the plan.
Being the planner that I am, I had it all mapped out in my head how things were going to go.
The problem? As soon as I started having kids, everything changed.
I vividly remember an experience I had a few months after my first child, Charlotte Grace, was born. I was rocking her and staring down at her precious face, and playing out her life in my mind.
I’m not sure if that’s a normal parent experience, but hey, I never claimed to be normal.
I had thoughts about what her personality would be like (definitely underestimated that one… sassy little thing), what her interests would be, and what she would spend her life doing.
And I remember being so excited to teach her about the fragility of life, and encouraging her to chase her dreams.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks…
I wasn’t even doing that in my own life!
Admittedly, I had always prided myself on not being a hypocrite. As ridiculous as it is in hindsight, I always looked forward to the day I could tell my kids why they shouldn’t do drugs because their daddy never did.
So, how could I encourage my kids to chase their dreams, when I didn’t even do that myself?
I mean, I guess I could speak from a place of regret, and tell them to learn from my mistakes. I remember my parents saying that to my brothers and sister and me numerous times growing up.
My parents had a life of experiences and regrets that allowed them to encourage us in the other direction.
But I didn’t want to have to teach that lesson to my kids. And I knew that I had the ability to teach a different one.
So I asked myself, “rather than telling the kids what I “think” it looks like from the mountain top, why not tell them from experience? OR, even better, why not show them?”
But wait, “That’s reckless Justin.You had plenty of time to chase your dreams, and you chose not to. Now it’s about Charlee and your future kids, not you. You owe it to them to give them all the things you planned. They deserve to have a worry-free life.”
Those were the thoughts that kept creeping through my mind. Not to mention the thoughts about what everyone else would think.
I had to make a tough decision.
- I could allow the thoughts of others and the constant self-hating internal dialogue cause me to play it safe. And if I did, I’d have to look forward to the day that I not only had to tell my kids that I didn’t chase my dreams, but also that the thoughts and feelings of others stopped me.
OR
- I could take my own advice, and be “reckless.” And rather than encouraging my kids to chase their dreams, I could show them exactly what it looks like.
I wish I could say it was a no-brainer, but it definitely wasn’t.
If you read my bio, you’ll see that financial security was probably the single most important thing in my life for quite a while. So, this really was a tough decision for me.
But at the end of the day, I knew that there was no way I could handle looking my kids in the eyes and telling them that their daddy was too scared to go for it.
So I took a leap of faith.
The reality is, we all have to make decisions that are going to determine what our lives look like. One of those decisions is what we’re going to dedicate our lives to doing.
I’m far from where I want to be, and I don’t even know that I’d call myself successful – yet. But, what I can do is hold my head high knowing that I went for it.
I didn’t let my fears and insecurities or the thoughts and beliefs of others control my decision. I’m a firm believer that when it comes to facing your fears, sometimes you need someone (or something) that can push you, until you’re strong enough to pull yourself.
My kids were that pulling strength.
And that’s how having kids made me reckless.
What’s it going to take for you to be reckless and get pulled into your dreams?
Be UNCOMMON!
If you’re ready to chase your dreams, take the first steps by joining the Becoming UNCOMMON Challenge here.
